some wonderful definitions

Wonderful Definitions

School :
A place where Parents pay and children play
Life Insurance :
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..
Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
Dictionary :
A place where death comes before life, divorce comes before marriage and success comes before work
Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
Father :
A banker provided by nature
Boss :
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Politician :
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after
DOCTOR :
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic Books :
which people praise, but do not read.
Smile :
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office :
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn :
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wiser in death.